用英文，应该不会有人看了吧（一）

2020.8.16
       Today is my birthday, I hope I can be happy. But, I just can't sleep. Dad did not come back, my mother went to the first floor to wait for him the whole second floor only left me a person.
       A few days ago, because be suppressed by Zhang Bo Yang too serious, so the mood is a little depressed, but I did not think I would be depressed. I don't want me to get depressed.
        I admit that I dipped my head in the water a few days ago, but the original intention was to make myself awake to do my homework. The inspiration came from the youth Tour. However, that time choked, seems to open my heart has been locked the door. I seem, like, addicted to...
       I didn't really want to, but I found it calmed me down. A few days ago I can talk with my mother, pour out their feelings, but, I think, my mother should also tired... You could tell by the tone of her voice that she did not want to hear me say these discouraging things. Mother works so hard that I don't want to ta

ke up her rest time any more.
        2020.8.13 That day, I searched the relevant information about depression, there was a nameless fear in my heart, so, I dropped the TOEFL class, returned home, I asked my mother a question: Do you know what is smile depression? In order not to make my mother suspect me, I use the excuse "Wu Yiqi said she was depressed before, I just curious, so ，I search that" in the past. My mother told me that she didn't know about depression and didn't want to. I expressed silence.
       However, I do not know which string is missing in my mind. On the evening of 14th, I asked my mother again during the halftime of the C++ exam. I probably wanted to find some psychological comfort... Mother said: Why do you ask me again? How come you always know such things?
       For a second, I froze -- since when do I know these things?